Monday, November 21, 2011

Reflecting On This Blog

I'm not really sure what to do with this blog now that my cancer journey has mostly come to an end. Next Monday I get my port out. I think back to when I first got it, and I'm so glad I blogged about it. I described getting my port as the first step in a race I didn't want to run. And what a race it has been! Horrible and amazing, all at the same time. Oh, how I've changed! How I've learned to surrender! Just as I predicted in that post, it has been a death to my will. And in that, I've found freedom. So many things that held me captive. Gone!

As I read back through this blog, what means the most to me are the comments. So many words of encouragement. I'm thankful for each comment and for each friend who persisted in praying for me and encouraging me. As I tearfully read all the comments, I'm overcome. I inadequately express myself with a trite, "Wow!"

I want to note my favorite comment. I feel a little bad having a favorite, but this one is really amazing. It comes from one of my favorite posts, right after my surgery. Here it is:

"You and Damie are such a beautiful example of what true love and a real marriage should look like."

I laughed when I first read this. I laughed with joy and disbelief. Then I cried. If someone had told me two years ago that someone would say this about my marriage, I would have gawked incredulously. Impossible! But now I know: My God can do the impossible!
And still, every time I read this comment, I laugh.
And laugh. And laugh. And cry.
Incredulous joy!

So thank you Elicia for that beautiful comment! And thank you to all the rest of you, for every comment that brought me peace and hope and joy and courage in such a dark season.

3 comments:

  1. Uh. No fair! Why does Elicia have to have the favorite comment?! :o)

    But seriously, what awesome, awesome evidence of our Creator!!! Stephanie--I laugh and cry WITH you over that evidence. God can do much more than we can ever even imagine. And you're right...it's like a rebirthing. Praise God for all He has done in spite of, because of, and through your trial...and I'm thanking God for all He has shown all of us....those who love you...through watching and praying and loving you during this. We are all changed!

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  2. Stephanie, Keep the blog!! Your moment with cancer will touch others for a lifetime! Don't stop adding to it! Keep your beautiful experiences going to continue to show what God can do after the storm. It will keep hope alive! The miracle wasn't just that he healed you, but what he did inside of you and your heart and your soul and to the people around you. You have much more to add to others lives! {LOVE YOU} -Allison

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  3. Stephanie, your journey with cancer is never over. You are just entering a different phase of it called Survivor-ship. Some say this is actually the hardest part of cancer, the watching and waiting. Not having the pronounced end goal of finishing treatment in sight, not having your weeks filled with tests and treatments and doctors. You have to learn to live with a different normal. The best part of this leg of the journey- you are a Survivor!

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