Monday, November 21, 2011

Reflecting On This Blog

I'm not really sure what to do with this blog now that my cancer journey has mostly come to an end. Next Monday I get my port out. I think back to when I first got it, and I'm so glad I blogged about it. I described getting my port as the first step in a race I didn't want to run. And what a race it has been! Horrible and amazing, all at the same time. Oh, how I've changed! How I've learned to surrender! Just as I predicted in that post, it has been a death to my will. And in that, I've found freedom. So many things that held me captive. Gone!

As I read back through this blog, what means the most to me are the comments. So many words of encouragement. I'm thankful for each comment and for each friend who persisted in praying for me and encouraging me. As I tearfully read all the comments, I'm overcome. I inadequately express myself with a trite, "Wow!"

I want to note my favorite comment. I feel a little bad having a favorite, but this one is really amazing. It comes from one of my favorite posts, right after my surgery. Here it is:

"You and Damie are such a beautiful example of what true love and a real marriage should look like."

I laughed when I first read this. I laughed with joy and disbelief. Then I cried. If someone had told me two years ago that someone would say this about my marriage, I would have gawked incredulously. Impossible! But now I know: My God can do the impossible!
And still, every time I read this comment, I laugh.
And laugh. And laugh. And cry.
Incredulous joy!

So thank you Elicia for that beautiful comment! And thank you to all the rest of you, for every comment that brought me peace and hope and joy and courage in such a dark season.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Marla

My distant cousin Marla, who so many of you have prayed for, died last week. My mom hesitated to tell me. I must confess, it is difficult to deal with. Marla was diagnosed with esophagus cancer around the time of my own cancer diagnosis. They gave her six months, but she fought bravely for a year and a half. Please pray for her family. She leaves behind a husband, teenage twins, and much extended family. Pray for God's peace and comfort. Pray that God will draw their hearts to Him. Pray that He will fill the void that Marla leaves behind.

When human logic fails to provide understanding, I put my faith in a God who is sovereign, a God who is just, a God who loves beyond measure.

Once more I recognize how very temporary life is, and how important it is to live each day with eternity in mind.

I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
~Ecclesiastes 3:10-11

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.
~James 4:14