Friday, October 28, 2011

Update

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while. For those of you who aren't on Facebook, here was my status update on October 12th:

I'm done!! I'm done! I'm done!!! I can't believe I'm actually DONE!!! Woohoo!!!!!

I had my last Herceptin treatment that day. I expected to feel emotional about it. I mostly felt excited. Unbelievably excited. Like life may actually return to some semblance of normal.
Yet, I have a difficult time being normal. When I meet new people, I always wonder, do I tell them? And if so, when? When we first meet? After I've known them a week? Or two? And how do you say, "Oh, by the way, I just survived a year and a half of cancer treatment."
Cancer is such a huge part of my life. But now it is time to move on. It doesn't have to constantly occupy my mind or be a part of every conversation.
I imagine a day will come when I meet someone new, and these thoughts won't come into my mind. At that moment, I will know that I have moved on. That cancer no longer defines me. That cancer was just one more trial in my life, one more thing I have overcome, and it is just one part of my story, not the whole thing.

I followed up my last treatment with a 10-day cleanse, in an attempt to expedite the healing process. I felt horrible the entire time. The Herceptin side effects were exacerbated as my body worked hard to remove those toxins. I felt like I was in a fog. I couldn't think clearly and I was exhausted all the time. If you talked to me in the last ten days, I probably said or did something really unintelligent. I'm starting to feel better now, and I expect to feel relatively normal soon.

That's all for now. I have something else weighing on my heart, but I'll give that a post of its own...