Obedience is so much more than what we do. It begins with who we are, our very character. Then it must be mastered in our thoughts.
"casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ" ~2 Corinthians 10:5
Recurrence is something that tries to dominate the thinking of every cancer survivor. At times, it is easier to believe that the cancer has come back than that it won't.
Every lump (oh no!)
Every head ache (brain tumor?)
Every pain (ahhh, it's in my bones!)
A little rash (has it spread to my skin?)
Any new, persistent pain brings with it dread and fear.
These thoughts are normal. Yet, who can live like that?
"Rejoice in the Lord always." ~Phillipians 4:4
"Be anxious for nothing," ~Phillipians 4:6
"Fear not..." ~Isaiah 41:10
Does cancer trump these verses? Surely it's okay to worry about cancer? Right?
No. That's not right. The Bible is very clear, I'm not supposed to worry. Regardless of my circumstances, I'm supposed to rejoice. I know with confidence that whatever tomorrow brings, God will give me everything I need to get through.
So when thoughts of recurrence come, (and they do), I don't let them linger. I don't allow my mind to stay there.
It's a battle.
It's a battle between faith and fear.
It's a battle for my mind.
It's a battle for my allegiance.
And it's a battle that I must win.