Monday, November 8, 2010

The Pit of Despair

Five days. I spent five days in bed. I can't begin to describe how miserable I felt, and still feel, but this story does a pretty good job...

"Are you really as brave as you sound, or are you a little frightened? The truth, please. This is for posterity, remember."
"I'm a little frightened," Westley replied.
The Count jotted that down, along with the time. Then he got down to the fine work, and soon there were tiny tiny soft rimmed cups on the inside of Westley's nostrils, against his eardrums, under his eyelids, above and below his tongue, and before the Count arose, Westley was covered inside and out with the things. "Now all I do," the Count said very loudly, hoping Westley could hear, "is get the wheel going to it's fastest spin so that I have more than enough power to operate. And the dial can be set from one to twenty and, this being the first time, I will set it at the lowest setting, which is one. And then all I need do is push the lever forward, and we should, if I haven't gummed it up, be in full operation."
But Westley, as the lever moved, took his brain away, and when the Machine began, Westley was stroking her autumn-colored hair and touching her skin of wintry cream and--and--and then his world exploded--because the cups, the cups were everywhere, and before, they had punished his body but left his brain, only not the Machine; the Machine reached everywhere--his eyes were not his to control and his ears could not hear her gentle loving whisper and his brain slid away, slid far from love into the deep fault of despair, hit hard, fell again, down through the house of agony into the county of pain. Inside and out, Westley's world was ripping apart and he could do nothing but crack along with it.
The Count turned off the Machine then, and as he picked up his notebooks he said, "As you no doubt know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old--well, basically, that's all this is, except instead of water, I'm sucking life; I've just sucked away one year of your life. Later I'll set the dial higher, certainly to two or three, perhaps even to five. Theoretically, five should be five times more severe than what you've just endured, so please be specific in your answers. Tell me now, honestly: how do you feel?"
In humiliation, and suffering, and frustration, and anger, and anguish so great it was dizzying, Westley cried like a baby.
"Interesting," said the Count, and carefully noted it down.

~From William Goldman's The Princess Bride (pg. 206-207)


  1. My kids watched that movie about 500 times when they were growing up. I know that scene well.
    I'm so sorry, Stephanie. I wish I could take it away.. I've been praying without ceasing...I also wish I could give you some sage advice, but I can't. It's a helpless feeling and I know your family feels the same.
    God's plans are just too hard to understand sometimes.
    Just know that we love you and you are constantly in our prayers and soon, it WILL all be over...

  2. Stephanie, you are more than a conquerer and you must not give in. Though life can be overwhelming to the point of being unable to continue, Christ is your strength. He is the One who will help you through. You do not have enough strength, you need His. And though I cannot imagine what you are experiencing, I can offer hope of making it through despair. In my life there have been many times when I prayed for death, it would have been a comfort over the emotional pain I lived. God has His own plans for our lives and lets us live through the pain and suffering and grow from it so that we may then reach out to others and help them through the abyss as well. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! You never have been and you never will be..."I am with you always."

  3. Your sweet friend, in the above comment, put into words what I could not. I'm grateful for her encouragement and am praying for you to withstand this valley. The Lord IS with you!!!

  4. Praying for relief. Praying for the Lord to encourage your heart. Praying for endurance. Praying for peace.

    Love you Steph.