"So now, come back to your God. Act on the priciples of love and justice, and always live in confident dependence on your God!" ~Hosea 12:6
This sums up the lesson I've been learning through this trial.
I used to think that pleasing God meant to serve Him, to live a holy life, to pray, to read my Bible, to love others, etc. All of those things are good. But ultimately what pleases God is my faith, my confident dependence on Him.
I've heard this so often, but only now am beginning to understand.
Only now am I able to walk in it; to truly let go of all my striving and performance.
Now I find freedom in depending on a God who is much more capable than I and who loves me beyond measure.
I know now...
When I sin, I run to Him
and He forgives and restores.
When I'm weak, I run to Him
and He gives me strength.
When I'm afraid, I run to Him
and He comes alongside me and gives me courage.
When I'm confused and I've lost my way, I run to Him
and He counsels me with His word and directs my path.
It's all about depending on God, confidently
Despite my weaknesses and my failures
Despite my circumstances
Confidently depending on Him
Only then can He be glorified in my life
For He is all that I need