This is supposed to take a year. And I haven't even gotten to the hard part yet.
I'm tired. Already.
I'm tired of depending on others to do those things I can usually do myself.
I'm tired of doctor's appointments and health concerns.
I'm tired of discomfort, pain, fatigue.
I'm tired of staying home,
sitting on the couch,
watching others take care of my kids.
Most of all, I'm tired of relationships being one-sided. Where I receive, and have nothing to give.
I'm discouraged. And I pray that God would send someone to encourage me.
Yet there comes a time in life where one must learn to encourage oneself.
To not give in to the thoughts and feelings of discouragement, disappointment, doubt, weariness.
For me, that time is now.
"...David strengthened himself in the LORD his God." ~1 Samuel 30:6
I must be like David! I must wait on the Lord. Patiently. Cheerfully.
I choose to be strengthened by His word, to believe what He promises me.
About trials, about hardship, about suffering, and about glory.
"My soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken." ~Psalm 62:1-2
I lift up my tired eyes. I lift up my tired hands. I turn my gaze to my Creator.
I turn my thoughts away from myself, from my circumstances, from the things that pull me down.
I think on those things which are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy.
And I am strengthened! I'm encouraged! Already!
"Have you not known?
Have you not heard?
The everlasting God, the LORD,
The Creator of the ends of the earth,
Neither faints nor is weary.
His understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint." ~Isaiah 40:28-31