Friday, July 2, 2010

Just me and God

There are times in my life that I believed being a strong Christian meant that I could handle things by myself...just me and God. I shouldn't be dependent on other people, just on God. Although God is the source of all that we need, He also designed us to be relational. He puts us in families. He puts us with other people, to make us whole.
My Grandma died yesterday. She was declining in health and we knew the end was near. But it happened more quickly than I expected. It felt like more than I could bear. Evy dies Thursday. Chemo starts Friday. I froze. It was all I could do to not just sit and stare at the wall all day. I lost my joy. I lost my peace. I lost my focus. I lost my footing.
My emotions short-circuited. I didn't know what to do.
I went to church. To early morning prayer. Broken and discouraged.
Everyone prayed for me. They ministered life and hope to me. They lifted me up and pulled me out of the pit of discouragement. How foolish it is to think we don't need one another!
Thank you friends, for continually praying for me, and for being full of faith when my faith is weak.

1 comment:

  1. Dear Stephanie, As you were going through your first chemo treatment today, I was at the grave site of my mother, your grandmother, as she was being lowered into the ground. I was holding Eva in her front carrier close to my heart. It was so comforting to have her there, the future generation, as I had to let go of my mother, the older generation. Evy lived long enough to see ALL of her great-grandchildren. You and your children were such a blessing to her! She loved your family very much!!!