Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me."
Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." ~Matthew 26:38-39
That was my cry today. "Take this cup from me!" The second part didn't come as easily, "Not as I will, but as you will." And I realize that this trial is a death to my will. Death to all the things that hold me back. Death to the things in my life that don't matter. Fear. Insecurity. Vanity. Selfishness. I find freedom in that. And joy. Unspeakable joy.
In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. ~1 Peter 1:6-9